Sat Mar 23, 2024 11:33 pm by globalturbo
February 21, 2013
An Entire Philharmonic Orchestra
Filed under: NDE — by angelicview @ 2:50 am
Tags: NDE
AngelicView: All I can say is “WOW!” about
this NDE! This is a must-read. This man was in a motorcycle accident.
This is one of the most perceptive and articulate NDE’s I have ever come
across. This is just an excerpt of the original, so if you’d like to
read
the rest (mainly, I started posting about the middle to the end), then hit the link at the bottom.
As I became aware of this state of complete peace and to recognize
it for what it was I started to look around me. As I did this I became
aware of something. All around me, at near distances (though even the
near distances were ‘far’) and at what I sensed as far distances there
were lights. These lights I took to be stars. That is to say that here
we would ordinarily refer to them as stars. Their colors were more
various than I have ever seen in an ordinary night-sky. But there, these
‘stars’ were something else too. They were beings and they were utterly
conscious. The entire universe, in which I was now lying and beginning
to observe, was completely and utterly aware. All of it is conscious. I
mean that – all of it, the very space itself is permeated with
consciousness. There was nothing there that was not conscious. This did
not seem to surprise me in any way at all. I did not regard it as
curious or as bizarre in any way. Far from it, I seemed to regard this
as in some way entirely natural – which is the nearest expression that I
can think of that even remotely points in the correct direction – and
my feeling sense was of like ‘being home and now completely safe’. Every
single burden that I ever knew was utterly gone. In fact in many ways
it was only while here and feeling myself in this state that I realized
just how burdened I was.
I was now lying in space among these beings that I seemed to know
so very, very well. (I need to emphasize that these were the kinds of
feelings that I was experiencing as I lay there in space and started to
look around me. These feelings were completely comprehensive and beyond
any of even the vaguest of doubts. There were no doubts.) This was so
very distinct a feeling. I definitely felt that I knew these beings and
that I had known them for a long, long time though I could not specify
the duration of the time – it was simply sufficient to accept it. (Here
to all intents and purposes we would say that I had known these stars
for periods so vast that we would call it eternity.)
As I looked around I became aware that all these stars were in
communication with each other. They were all ‘talking’ with each other.
(At this point, as I sit here writing this, I now run into a very, very
severe difficulty. The difficulty is that there are no words to in any
way adequately describe what was happening here. We have no vocabulary
that in any way even approaches being able to describe what I am trying
to describe here. The vocabulary simply does not exist.)
The communication system there is entirely different from anything
that I have ever experienced before or since. Here, in our ordinary
everyday lives, we use words to try and transmit something of what it is
that we are thinking and feeling. A response is made in words. If the
intent of the communication is to reach agreement on something then a
system is set up of transmit, response, transmit, re-response and so on.
This arrangement is inevitably linear. It has a linear dynamic. The
communication that I have just described is fairly straightforward (at
least in its manifest dynamic) between two individuals. But if that
takes place simultaneously between many hundreds of individuals then it
would rapidly take the form of seeming chaos – a veritable Babel.
The
communication system there is one of direct transference of thought and
feeling. (Again I am running into severe problems with language here:
the two are not discrete there. There they effectively become one and
the same thing. There is a great difficulty in that many people, like
me, might automatically regard words as necessary to ‘thought’. There
this is not the case. Words are not required for thought or
communication.)
I need to qualify this. Here we all know that we all have
feelings. Some, it is said, might have more feelings or at least more
access to a range of feelings than others. For my own part I would like
to try and make an analogy to music here. With respect to living people
it might be said that some have, say, one instrument to play, at that
quite badly, from the choice of an entire symphonic orchestra. A lucky
few might have the capacity to play with a choice of two or three
instruments, though quite badly at that. These are the sum total of the
expressive-affective capacities available to us here – in the ordinary
course of events. It should be realized, then, that any attempt made
between us at communication with such a limited range of instruments, my
one, your two, his or her three, is constrained in its capacity to
communicate with respect to that with which it can attempt the
communication. Likewise the same constraint is brought to bear in our
capacities to attempt to receive any communication. If we regard the
purpose of such a communication to be the creation of a thought and
understanding from affect then it might be said that the thought will in
itself remain constrained by our capacity to communicate affect. I
would underline that I am here talking of a translation system for in
trying to do this at all we are following the line of affect, to words,
to thought and back to affect. There, all of this happens
simultaneously. There is no need of translation. Words are redundant
with this at one’s disposal.
I found that my capacity to distinguish between ‘ranges, shades,
or nuances of affect’ to be extremely expanded. This it seems to me is
necessary for the communication system. My sense was that this was not
necessarily
a property of ‘mine’. As I have mentioned the communication system
there is based on direct transference of thought-feeling. It should be
understood that in a communication system of that type it is perfectly
possible for another being to directly transfer to you without any shade
of ambiguity, without any form of in-exactitude of any kind at all,
exactly what the sum total of their thought-feeling is at the time that
you receive it. Which is exactly what I found to be happening to me,
therefore, the thought-feeling is not necessarily a ‘property’ of you.
It is the very ‘property’ of another inside you. Not only did that
happen but I also knew that I was doing the same to that other being. It
is like being in ‘possession’ of another mind and affective complex
(though I would emphasize that none of these beings would ever try to
possess you) and being able to at the same time distinguish that you are
still an entity in your own right.
Now I need to make this even more complex. As I lay there in this
space, in this conscious, thinking, feeling, utterly active universe I
was being permeated by the very thought-feelings of these beings so that
I could quite literally feel them inside me (though I knew them to be
all around me). As I looked around I could literally see one of these
stars and know its thought-feeling inside me. Not because that
thought-feeling had just arrived inside me but because it was already
there. I had only to look at that star to be able to identify that the
presence of this particular communication inside me belonged to that
individual. The complication is that as it was inside me too (as well as
in that individual) that communication was also part of mine – it
became part of me. (This is not in anyway at all to suggest that I
experienced my own individual identity to be in any way at all at threat
from any of this. That was absolutely not the case.) Now it is
necessary to understand that there were literally hundreds of these
‘near’ stars, and ‘they’ were all inside me at the same time.
Now I need to complicate this even further. (It should be said
that this complication only lies in trying to put this into words. As I
write this it is clear in my feelings, it is the attempt to put it into
words that in any way point at what I’m trying to describe that is
difficult. There all of this is in practice easy beyond belief.) It is
important to understand that I have mostly here written about this
matter with my focus on the individual stars (beings).
But as I have said they all communicate with each other and all at
the same time. And they manage to do that with absolutely no conflict
whatsoever in their communications. Even though they all had individual
identities – they had personalities, if you like – they were always in
agreement. There were literally hundreds of communications going on and
all individuals were communicating with all other individuals all at the
same time. Communication between them, it was clear to me, was
absolutely instantaneous and involved them all at the same instant.
Whatever was happening was not something that we would be able to
understand as a linear communication system. (This in itself was further
complicated by the fact that I had no sense of time there. The time
frame if there is one at all is utterly different from here. This to the
extent that to me it makes no sense to talk of time there. Something is
happening there that nullifies time in any sense of the way that we
understand it, or feel it, or believe it to be.)
So, as I lay there watching this, I could identify the
communications of individuals and at the same time be aware of the
totality of communications occurring. This totality was of a nature that
is near indescribable. This because the totality of the communications
produced nothing but harmony. In the totality of the communications
there was no sense at all of any deviation from what might be best
described as a meta-communication. It was as if the total of all the
individual communications was in itself a single communication that had
formed itself from the individual communications arising. This seemed to
happen so fast that the individuals that fed into the totality would
themselves become aware of the effect of their communication on the
totality as instantly as they had made their individual contribution. I
know of only one thing that comes anywhere near this – and at that
imperfectly – and that is music. To lie in, feel, think, participate,
modify, be modified by, feel the essence of each individual, feel the
essence of the totality of the thought-feelings of the
group
of individuals, feel all of them affecting all of each other, and
having a response back that affects all of them – all happening
instantaneously û is one of the most profound sensations I have ever
experienced. It is like ‘listening to music’. And here if ‘music’ were
to be taken as a play on a range of feelings and thoughts the
‘orchestra’ there had a capacity to play those feelings and thoughts
that was well beyond anything that I would be able to bring myself to
call human. This ‘music’ (keep in your mind that I am talking about a
communication system) was not just an ‘event’ that happened isolated
from everything else but one that permeated everything.
I would like to return to the matter previously mentioned that my
sense of self was expanded to an extent that would (here) be
unbelievable. Part of that expansion of self was as I have said to do
with my sense that my ego had fallen away (or had been subsumed and
attenuated by this enlargement of sense of self) – I was aware of that
in a nascent sort of way, though I would emphasize that it was no
concern of mine at all. However part of what stood in its place was a
unity with this ‘total mind’. In effect I was part of this total
meta-mind and my sense of self expanded accordingly. I should like to
say that my sense as I write this is that in terms of there I suspect
that I was a novice in this communication system. My sense is that in
many ways I was in fact being (re-) introduced to it by these stars
(beings). It needs to be understood that I really am talking about the
mind of ‘something else’ entering one. And that includes the capacity to
teach in a very, very direct way.
I had one sense of something that I did not understand. This was
to do with the ‘far’ stars. It seemed to me initially that I could only
feel, participate, know, the communications of the near stars. It was as
if the far stars were in some way ‘blocked’ from my knowing. Or as if
there may have been some kind of barrier that prevented me from knowing
what the far stars were communicating. However, when I became aware of
this it did not interest me for long. This place has such a sense of
‘perfection in rightness’ about it that one does realize that things
have a purpose and that the way things are is right.
So, as I have said, I lay and became aware of these stars and this
universe all around me being conscious. I also became aware of the
communications of these stars. I now need to try and describe more
specifically what these stars were communicating to me.
It was in essence very simple – though as I have said the
communication system is utterly stupendous – in the ‘first part’ of
their communication they let me know that they knew me. In the ‘second
part’ of their
communication
they let me know that they were happy to see me, again. They were so
very, very happy that I was back with them, to join them again. In the
‘third part’ of their communication they let me know that they loved me
very, very much. I need to point out here that I have written this as
first, second and third part of the communication.
This is wholly inaccurate – it is a limitation that we have in our
thinking because of our use of language. This communication was one
massive stream of ‘music’ that played in the very fabric of the space
that I was in, that moved through me, and from me and back to them. For I
myself was in such a state of joy to be with them again. (This did not
strike me as in any way peculiar or strange to me.) At the same instant
that that was happening I was also aware of the meta-mind of the
communication as a unified and completely non-conflicted whole.
It needs to be stated that the nature of the meta-mind that was
produced is something like a radio broadcast transmitter in that the
signal of such a transmitter will always be composed of energies at a
given frequency range even though the content of the messages can vary
widely. There the nature of the meta-mind that I was in, that was
communicating with me and I with it was one of love. I could not begin
to describe the sensations and ease of being that I felt to be in an
environment that was literally composed of love as its base-essence or
base-frequency.
This entire communicative ‘sequence’ was ‘started’ by one
individual star that I looked at as I became aware of where I was and
what was going on around me. I looked at this star and it ‘said’,
communicated to the others, what translated to words would be a message
similar to: “Look, here he is now. He’s back with us again. He’s here
now.” The thing was that as I looked at that ‘initiating’ individual
star I knew that all the other ‘near’ stars already knew, that I was
there, knew the message of the individual, knew their own responses,
knew my feelings as this ripple of communication of thought-feeling
spread out and around and back again. I do not know how long I lay
drifting in that area of space that I found myself in. It could have
been minutes, it could just as soon have been forever, I neither knew
nor cared. The sensations of being welcomed, of being loved, of being
back again, of being at ease, of being nurtured, of being caressed,
their acceptance of my returning of my love for them, of having them
inside me, and me inside them, of feeling their extreme
intelligence
and wisdom, of feeling the extent of their knowing of the fundamental
nature of things. I lay among these beings being welcomed and loved by
them for how long I do not know. Then I ‘heard’ a sound like a low
rumble in the distance.
I turned towards my right side, to the side that the sound seemed
to be coming from. I say that I heard this sound and did in fact do so.
The capacity of hearing there is similar to that of hearing here.
However, my hearing was not restricted to just this form as I also
‘heard the sound inside me’. That is, like there was a vibrational
analogue of a sound moving deep inside me. I looked in the direction
that I thought I could hear the sound coming from and at first could see
nothing.
The area into which I was looking was far off in the distance and
in a dark area of space with no stars in the immediate vicinity. Then I
thought that I momentarily saw a slight change at one point in that
space – as if something had appeared for a second and then disappeared
again. Like as if I had just vaguely identified one pin-point of
movement in all that far away space. Then I saw the pin-point again, for
a little longer this time, then again, and again, and again. This
appearance and disappearance had a slight shimmering quality to it. This
did not involve light as such (a pin-point of light) only recognition
that something different from the overall background of space was
present in that area. Then this thing appeared and stayed in appearance.
At that point I knew for sure that its staying in appearance was
because it was getting closer. I knew that there was something there and
it was apparently moving in my direction.
As I identified that there was something moving in the distance I
felt a silence come upon me. This had nothing to do with fear û I had in
fact no fear at all of anything here. As this silence fell upon me I
noticed that all the stars (and ‘the group’) had also fallen silent. It
was as if the whole space was made pregnant by this silence. As if, as
if one had a feeling that something profound was about to happen even
though one had no idea of what. It was as if all the stars had withdrawn
into a state of contemplation; as indeed I had myself. The object, I
could see, and hear, and feel-hear inside me was getting closer. As it
got closer all this hearing and feel-hearing got louder. This so that I
could feel my interior start to
vibrate to the sound.
In tonal terms this sound was like a low bass rumble at all times.
As I looked and the object started to get nearer and nearer it got to a
point where I could see that what was moving towards me was a slowly
tumbling rock. Almost as if it was rolling in space – though its rate of
rolling was very slow and in no way a gauge of its actual rate of
travel. It was, roughly, spherical in shape. As it got nearer and nearer
I could see that its surface was quite rough, irregular (just like a
huge rock here would be). It’s path toward me I could see was occurring
as part of a huge arc.
As this rock got to about mid-way to me I found that I was aware
of some its apparent properties. These properties seemed to perplex me
in some ways. This perplexity was not in any way confusing and in fact
did not amount to any concern in me at all û it was simply present, that
is all. One of the properties that I understood of this rock was that
it was not positionally fixed in space. I seemed to be aware of this as a
distinct property of this rock that made it in some way different from
all else that was around me. I knew that this rock had a freedom of
movement that marked it out as different from everything else. I was
also aware that I was not aware of the consciousness of this rock in the
same way that I was aware of the consciousness of the stars. (Though
again I say that the stars had now fallen silent and had been silent for
some time.) I was also aware that in some way the consciousness of this
rock was not being made available to me. Though I must say that there
was no element of deception involved in this. My sense was of something
approaching that in some way was un-knowable and that ineffability had
something to do with the state it was in. I had a sense that this rock
and its movement was extremely volitional. Whatever this was it was not
an object approaching by chance because of some random path it was on.
It had volition (AngelicView: free will/purpose). I was also aware that this rock was ageless – by which I mean that in our terms it was old beyond our widest imaginings.
Now, all of this apparent non-communication, was a communication
from it to me. It was only that I did not understand the elements of the
communication that it appeared to me that there were no elements of a
communication. However, though I could not distinguish communication
elements directed by it deliberately to me it was clear to me that those
awarenesses that I did have merged to form an over-arching
communication (or meta-communication, if you like). And that
communication was that this was fate. Whatever was happening now was something that was destined in some way.
It knew why it was there, though (at that point) I did not. This
was why this object was volitional. It was, if you like, keeping an
appointment. And it knew, from what we would call the beginning of time,
that it would be here now to meet me. I did not at that point
understand that I was meant to be there to meet it, that awareness on my
part was in a nascent state. I tried, as I had done so with the stars
(though with them it was not necessary to ‘try’) to reach out to the
consciousness of this object, merge with it in the very definite way
that I have also described, but found that I could not do so. All that I
got was what I have described above.
I watched it come nearer and nearer and as it got very close
realized that there was nothing that I could do to pre-empt its
intention. It was now so close that my entire field of vision was filled
with the rough surface of this rolling rock. It was now so close that I
thought that I could reach out and
touch
it if I wished. It was now so close that I could see that it was going
to roll into me. This did not concern me in any way at all. In no way at
all did I seem to be afraid of it. Just at that point I looked up and
down to see nothing but this huge rock above and below me as it rolled
right onto me.
I was lying, suspended, drifting in nothing but light. Everywhere
around me was light. There was nowhere that was not light. Light as far
as I could see. Light, I knew, further than I could see. This light was
very bright but in no way at all did it hurt my sight. This light had a
singular property that is utterly indescribable in the extent and scope
of its sheer magnitude. The singular property of this light was one of
absolute love. This love was utterly unreserved, completely unbounded,
and utterly infinite in its scope.
Within that total love there came also the knowing of the
intelligence and wisdom of this being for I was bathed and permeated by
this also. The extent of the intelligence and wisdom of this being, of
this light, was utterly indescribable other than to call it infinite.
This intelligence and wisdom was of a magnitude that knew that there was
nothing that was outside its compass, that knew there was nothing of
which it was not aware, that knew there was nothing that was outside its
scope.
As someone sitting here trying (and failing) to write about the
un-writeable I have no option but to drop the pen and say that in the
extent of its power and its magnitude without limit this being was
awesome in its beauty. There are no words that can describe this being
and its sheer magnificence in its magnitude. However, it has to be said,
that all of this, all that it was capable of, all that it did, all that
it gave, could be reduced to its essential quality, all of it was
poured into this one quality without reservation: it was sheer unalloyed
love absolute. And this indescribable beauty of it moved through every
part of me as if I were being permeated by the very shining itself.
I have written what I have written immediately above so that what I
write now can be understood (to some extent) û I need to prepare the
reader for the sensations that came upon me immediately I entered this
light. So what follows now is, initially, a backtracking to the point
where I found myself in the light.
I was lying, suspended, drifting in nothing but light. I could see
that my bodily position was one of lying as if at an angle of around
thirty-degrees with my arms, like my legs, lying outspread from my body.
I was, if you like, lying in a ‘prone’ position. Seeing myself this way
lying in that light lasted only what could have been a fraction of a
second. Suddenly, almost instantaneously, on this light exploding,
coming into being around me, my sense of expansion of self rocketed to
unbelievable proportions, it was as if I had just suddenly exploded
outwards in all directions; I could not
identify
where my ‘self’ was. (This happened very, very quickly on this light
coming into being.) It was in this state that I first became aware of
wave upon wave upon wave of love moving into and through me from every
spatial direction imaginable. I became aware of love coming into being
inside me and radiating from me in wave upon wave upon wave without
remission, and directed at, I knew not what. Then I became aware of the
presence of a being of a power, magnitude and intelligence that was
utterly indescribable and that was this light that I now knew to be
here. (What I am trying to indicate here is that on first finding myself
‘inside the light’ is that I ‘exploded’ in size to unbelievable
magnitude and that, in terms of having an identifiable ‘form’ I just
completely disappeared. Literally, I became one with what that light
was, strange though it may sound it was as if I in some way became the
light, I was completely merged with it. That lasted I do not how long,
it could have been twenty seconds, it just as easily have been for
eternity. Once that ‘having no form of my own’ ended it was like I
re-formed into an identifiable form ‘out of the light’, as though I was
extruded from it, though I was still in the light and still experienced
my self to be, psychologically, massive in size, but I had ‘regained’ an
identifiable form. (Sorry, I’m finding this extremely difficult to put
in words. It was like, briefly, becoming the light itself, and losing
form because of that, then, once that part was over, reforming again but
still being left in the light.)
Then it came upon me that I knew I was inside this being and it
inside me. We were merged so that there was no separation – and yet I
also knew that I existed, as did it, as a discrete entity. (This I know
sounds like an impossible paradox to us here. But there, this is easy.
There this is perfectly natural. I had, after all, already experienced
this to some extent with ‘the stars’.) As I became aware of this being
that was moving in me and around me and I in it; as I became aware of
its properties and of its indescribable magnitude I felt arise in me a
sense of reverential awe. I also felt rise in me a sense of my own
indescribable thankfulness to be united with it again. I have to say
that this was a strong sensation in this experience – it really was as
if some part of me knew about this place already. As if some part of me
did have a sensation of knowing of these things and beings from before.
(Though I did not know how I could be coming to think-feel these things,
nor did I question this in any way û that was a matter of no interest
to me at all.)
I transmitted (communicated) my thought-feeling sense of reverence
and thankfulness to this being. It was not necessary for me to do this
as it already knew. It did however thank me for this with more love,
which I knew it would not have withheld anyway. I surrendered myself to
this being, I wanted to be open to this being, I wanted to be so close
to this being forever. We united in mutual love. I could not begin to
describe the comprehensiveness of this union. There is no union like
this in ordinary existence between people on Earth. This is love
expressed with no barrier of any form between the direct experience of
the love of the other which is
now
not other. The sensations generated by union in this condition are
beyond belief in their scope and in their subtlety. Again it is only
able to point at by metaphor. I remind the reader of the ‘one, two or
three instruments’ analogy. Here was an entire philharmonic orchestra
composed of millions upon millions upon millions of instruments.
I have mentioned before that communication here is by direct
transference of thought-feeling to the extent that thought and feeling
are not separate facets of a communication. I have also mentioned that
this is an incredibly subtle form of communication system. Likewise I
have mentioned that the whole is conducted in a fashion which can (with
the limited means available to me for description) be compared to the
unfolding of a musical score which is literally being played as it is
constructed and that there is never a mis-note or dis-chord played as it
is constructed. I have also said that (to use the musical analogy) the
range of ‘instruments’ available and the tonal affects possible because
of that are beyond comparison with anything known to us here. I have
also said that out of the communications of individuals a single
meta-communication arises out of the multiplicity of the individual
communications and all are placed in a situation of communicating with
the meta-communication too. It should be borne in mind that all of this
happens as a synchronicity. This is not of the nature of a (wordy)
linear discourse as we know it. That meta-communication seemed always to
be played out (or land at, if you like) a single unifying theme; that
unifying theme was always love. This was not a dominating constraint –
to all it was always most welcome, most held in high regard – this is,
if you like, the culminating point of all communication in this place –
love. This, if you like, is the living essence of the harmony among the
‘stars’ (those beings, lights, whatever they were): this communication
system that always culminates (though it is an ongoing process and hence
does not end) in never-ending love.
It is impossible to describe the subtlety of this type of
communication system. However, for what I am trying to describe here it
is very important to realize that this system is so dynamic and so
subtle that a single communication for a single individual can contain
thousands of strands all playing on each other instantaneously and
always culminating in love. Thus it should be realized that from a
single communication many things can be transmitted within (if one
likes) that unifying theme.
As
I first became aware of myself within this being of light (after I had
‘re-formed’) and its communication to me of absolute love (and of all
that I have written of above) it was made clear to me as part of that
‘initiating’ communication to me that ‘we’ were now to take part in a
‘judgment’. This was made completely clear to me. This did not worry me
in any way whatsoever. (When I say ‘judgment’ I would very much
underline that there was no prospect of any kind of condemnation
involved in this.) I felt so at ease, so nurtured, so wrapped and rapt
in the care and concern of this being for me that I knew it would never
ever do anything to harm me. I knew that this being was not human. This
being I knew was so unspeakably far above the human that it is
impossible to qualify or quantify it in human terms. I knew this being
to be utterly powerful yet that I was to be ‘judged’ in no way concerned
me at all. In fact, I welcomed it. I welcomed this because I knew that
this being was total love. This being despite its magnitude and its
power I knew without question was completely benign. There was nothing
that this being would ever do to me to harm me – ever. This being was in
fact – of its own essence born of the extent of its intelligence and of
the sheer depth of its wisdom – incapable of condemnation. To be
‘judged’ by this being is to be exposed to its total love for you.
As this being, this light, conjoined me in and with its love, and I
returned mine to it, so that both merged together so that neither
existed except the two in the one I knew (it did let me know) that it
was ‘looking’ for something. It was feeling its way through and around
me (though I stress it was also it in me, or me in it) searching for
that upon which ‘judgment’ could be made. This needs some
qualification.
It has to be realized that this ‘judgment’ is not a matter of the
sole-discretion of this being. This ‘judgment’ is still conducted within
the parameters that I have attempted to describe above of the
communication system there. This ‘judgment’ is one in which that
individual who is being ‘judged’ is utterly and intimately involved in
their own ‘judgment’.
I have since having had this experience read of some other
accounts of this part of the death process and have read that some
people actually see images or aspects of their lives played out for
them, as if a ‘review’ was being made. This did not happen to me. Yet I
did know that I was being
‘judged’,
or rather that I was participating in a ‘judgment’. I knew that this
light, this beautiful Being was ‘sifting through me’. Looking for
something, gauging something, vibrations, frequencies, taking them into
its love, knowing the whole. This did not feel intrusive, I was happy
for this being to ‘look at me’ in this way, I welcomed it, and loved it
for this thing. And I knew that it was on this thing that ‘judgment’ was
based. This is ‘judgment’ based on the essence of you within an
intimacy that would simply be impossible on any understanding we have in
ordinary life. This ‘judgment’ has as its basis the answer to a single
question which would translate to something quite precise – What is,
was, the essence of your love? If you like, in a summative sense of the
whole, what vibration, or frequency, did your love resonate at?
Wave after wave after wave of love washed through me from this being –
and I returned this to it. Then there was what I can only describe as
something like a pause, it was clear that the ‘judgment’ was over.
I knew that I was still in the being, and it in me. I knew that I
was still bathed in the light. But now everything had gone silent. I was
no longer subject to wave upon wave upon wave of love flowing all
around and through me. Everything had gone silent. I lay in the light in
a state of absolute peace and calm. In a silence of feeling the like of
which I have never known before or since and which could only be
described as pure peace in rest and acceptance. And then
I was looking upward at a dark sky – at the dome of the heavens.
As I became aware that this was what I was doing I became aware that my
head was turning to look to my left. As it did so I became aware of a
sphere of rock immediately to my left side, no more than an arm’s-length
away. The rock was in the process of moving away from me, slowly
tumbling away into space. I started to watch it go.
It was still in communication with me, though the form or
intensity of the communication was much attenuated – in some ways its
communicative state (or my own depending on your point of view) was
similar to that of its approach. In any case, the communication system
was starting to break-up.
As it gained some fair distance from me it made a communication
which in words would translate to something like: “I will see you (or
meet you) again later.” Again I need to state that this attempt to
verbal translation is a failing one. The communication contained many
strands, some that dealt with love, some that dealt with an indicated
time frame (as a setting of context of the communication). It was clear
to me that it was leaving
me,
going off on a volitional path that would take it over what we would
call immense distances. It was made clear within the communication that
this ‘later’ that it referred to was (in our terms) an immense distance
of time away. We as human beings simply do not think in terms of these
types of time frame at all. We just do not do it. It was ‘speaking’ of a
vast distance of time away. And, I knew, that this ‘time’ that it was
using as reference meant absolutely nothing to it. Not a thing. So much
of nothing that it was meaningless. ‘Meaningless’ in the sense that it
(time) is a frame of reference that has no real meaning to, or for, it.
It meant nothing to it at all.
As I realized this I saw its arc start to take it towards the side
of a small planet that was in its now immediate vicinity. I thought
that this was curious as I had not previously noticed this planet there
at all. Yet I knew that I had looked in that direction when I had first
arrived here. I did not trouble myself to puzzle over the (now) presence
of this planet. I watched the rock arc its way behind the planet and
realized that it was now gone from me so I turned my sight away.
I looked upward a bit and turned my head in an arc looking at all
of the dome of the dark sky above me. I realized that all the ‘near’
stars had somehow, now, disappeared. I also realized that the space I
was now in was not permeated with consciousness – as it was when I first
arrived here – everything was silent. All that I could see were ‘far’
stars away off in the great distance. I could thought-feel no
communication from them. I was turning my head and as I did so I was
aware that I was trying to make a decision on where I would go now. I
stopped turning my head at a point in the heavens that was a little to
my right and above me. There I could see some far stars. I could see an
area of darkness between these far stars and seemed to think that I
would head off in that direction. It did not seem to me that I had made a
firm decision on going to any particular place – only that I felt that
to go to that region would be the next thing that I would do (here). I
raised my left arm as if in a movement to fly off into that region. Even
thought in our terms this would have involved covering an immense
distance I had no kind of a notion that this travelling to there would
take any kind of significant time at all. I felt myself start to move in
the direction in which I intended to fly and-
I was aware of a female voice calling my name. I seemed to think
this was my grandmother (with whom I use to stay at that time) calling
me. I seemed to think that I was being called to get up and go to work
in the morning. I remember mumbling something like (though I do not know
if I was heard), “I’m not going to work this morning. I don’t feel too
good.” As I said this I opened my eyes and at first was dazed as to
where I was. Then it dawned on me that I was inside an ambulance. Then
suddenly my pain, though now fairly reduced, flooded back to me and I
started to become re-aware that I had been in an accident.
AngelicView: His final statement: ”Please, please, please keep getting the word out about NDE’s.”
Thank you Peter.
Thanks to: http://angelicview.wordpress.com
An Entire Philharmonic Orchestra
Filed under: NDE — by angelicview @ 2:50 am
Tags: NDE
AngelicView: All I can say is “WOW!” about
this NDE! This is a must-read. This man was in a motorcycle accident.
This is one of the most perceptive and articulate NDE’s I have ever come
across. This is just an excerpt of the original, so if you’d like to
read
the rest (mainly, I started posting about the middle to the end), then hit the link at the bottom.As I became aware of this state of complete peace and to recognize
it for what it was I started to look around me. As I did this I became
aware of something. All around me, at near distances (though even the
near distances were ‘far’) and at what I sensed as far distances there
were lights. These lights I took to be stars. That is to say that here
we would ordinarily refer to them as stars. Their colors were more
various than I have ever seen in an ordinary night-sky. But there, these
‘stars’ were something else too. They were beings and they were utterly
conscious. The entire universe, in which I was now lying and beginning
to observe, was completely and utterly aware. All of it is conscious. I
mean that – all of it, the very space itself is permeated with
consciousness. There was nothing there that was not conscious. This did
not seem to surprise me in any way at all. I did not regard it as
curious or as bizarre in any way. Far from it, I seemed to regard this
as in some way entirely natural – which is the nearest expression that I
can think of that even remotely points in the correct direction – and
my feeling sense was of like ‘being home and now completely safe’. Every
single burden that I ever knew was utterly gone. In fact in many ways
it was only while here and feeling myself in this state that I realized
just how burdened I was.
I was now lying in space among these beings that I seemed to know
so very, very well. (I need to emphasize that these were the kinds of
feelings that I was experiencing as I lay there in space and started to
look around me. These feelings were completely comprehensive and beyond
any of even the vaguest of doubts. There were no doubts.) This was so
very distinct a feeling. I definitely felt that I knew these beings and
that I had known them for a long, long time though I could not specify
the duration of the time – it was simply sufficient to accept it. (Here
to all intents and purposes we would say that I had known these stars
for periods so vast that we would call it eternity.)
As I looked around I became aware that all these stars were in
communication with each other. They were all ‘talking’ with each other.
(At this point, as I sit here writing this, I now run into a very, very
severe difficulty. The difficulty is that there are no words to in any
way adequately describe what was happening here. We have no vocabulary
that in any way even approaches being able to describe what I am trying
to describe here. The vocabulary simply does not exist.)
The communication system there is entirely different from anything
that I have ever experienced before or since. Here, in our ordinary
everyday lives, we use words to try and transmit something of what it is
that we are thinking and feeling. A response is made in words. If the
intent of the communication is to reach agreement on something then a
system is set up of transmit, response, transmit, re-response and so on.
This arrangement is inevitably linear. It has a linear dynamic. The
communication that I have just described is fairly straightforward (at
least in its manifest dynamic) between two individuals. But if that
takes place simultaneously between many hundreds of individuals then it
would rapidly take the form of seeming chaos – a veritable Babel.
Thecommunication system there is one of direct transference of thought and
feeling. (Again I am running into severe problems with language here:
the two are not discrete there. There they effectively become one and
the same thing. There is a great difficulty in that many people, like
me, might automatically regard words as necessary to ‘thought’. There
this is not the case. Words are not required for thought or
communication.)
I need to qualify this. Here we all know that we all have
feelings. Some, it is said, might have more feelings or at least more
access to a range of feelings than others. For my own part I would like
to try and make an analogy to music here. With respect to living people
it might be said that some have, say, one instrument to play, at that
quite badly, from the choice of an entire symphonic orchestra. A lucky
few might have the capacity to play with a choice of two or three
instruments, though quite badly at that. These are the sum total of the
expressive-affective capacities available to us here – in the ordinary
course of events. It should be realized, then, that any attempt made
between us at communication with such a limited range of instruments, my
one, your two, his or her three, is constrained in its capacity to
communicate with respect to that with which it can attempt the
communication. Likewise the same constraint is brought to bear in our
capacities to attempt to receive any communication. If we regard the
purpose of such a communication to be the creation of a thought and
understanding from affect then it might be said that the thought will in
itself remain constrained by our capacity to communicate affect. I
would underline that I am here talking of a translation system for in
trying to do this at all we are following the line of affect, to words,
to thought and back to affect. There, all of this happens
simultaneously. There is no need of translation. Words are redundant
with this at one’s disposal.
I found that my capacity to distinguish between ‘ranges, shades,
or nuances of affect’ to be extremely expanded. This it seems to me is
necessary for the communication system. My sense was that this was not
necessarilya property of ‘mine’. As I have mentioned the communication system
there is based on direct transference of thought-feeling. It should be
understood that in a communication system of that type it is perfectly
possible for another being to directly transfer to you without any shade
of ambiguity, without any form of in-exactitude of any kind at all,
exactly what the sum total of their thought-feeling is at the time that
you receive it. Which is exactly what I found to be happening to me,
therefore, the thought-feeling is not necessarily a ‘property’ of you.
It is the very ‘property’ of another inside you. Not only did that
happen but I also knew that I was doing the same to that other being. It
is like being in ‘possession’ of another mind and affective complex
(though I would emphasize that none of these beings would ever try to
possess you) and being able to at the same time distinguish that you are
still an entity in your own right.
Now I need to make this even more complex. As I lay there in this
space, in this conscious, thinking, feeling, utterly active universe I
was being permeated by the very thought-feelings of these beings so that
I could quite literally feel them inside me (though I knew them to be
all around me). As I looked around I could literally see one of these
stars and know its thought-feeling inside me. Not because that
thought-feeling had just arrived inside me but because it was already
there. I had only to look at that star to be able to identify that the
presence of this particular communication inside me belonged to that
individual. The complication is that as it was inside me too (as well as
in that individual) that communication was also part of mine – it
became part of me. (This is not in anyway at all to suggest that I
experienced my own individual identity to be in any way at all at threat
from any of this. That was absolutely not the case.) Now it is
necessary to understand that there were literally hundreds of these
‘near’ stars, and ‘they’ were all inside me at the same time.
Now I need to complicate this even further. (It should be said
that this complication only lies in trying to put this into words. As I
write this it is clear in my feelings, it is the attempt to put it into
words that in any way point at what I’m trying to describe that is
difficult. There all of this is in practice easy beyond belief.) It is
important to understand that I have mostly here written about this
matter with my focus on the individual stars (beings).
But as I have said they all communicate with each other and all at
the same time. And they manage to do that with absolutely no conflict
whatsoever in their communications. Even though they all had individual
identities – they had personalities, if you like – they were always in
agreement. There were literally hundreds of communications going on and
all individuals were communicating with all other individuals all at the
same time. Communication between them, it was clear to me, was
absolutely instantaneous and involved them all at the same instant.
Whatever was happening was not something that we would be able to
understand as a linear communication system. (This in itself was further
complicated by the fact that I had no sense of time there. The time
frame if there is one at all is utterly different from here. This to the
extent that to me it makes no sense to talk of time there. Something is
happening there that nullifies time in any sense of the way that we
understand it, or feel it, or believe it to be.)
So, as I lay there watching this, I could identify the
communications of individuals and at the same time be aware of the
totality of communications occurring. This totality was of a nature that
is near indescribable. This because the totality of the communications
produced nothing but harmony. In the totality of the communications
there was no sense at all of any deviation from what might be best
described as a meta-communication. It was as if the total of all the
individual communications was in itself a single communication that had
formed itself from the individual communications arising. This seemed to
happen so fast that the individuals that fed into the totality would
themselves become aware of the effect of their communication on the
totality as instantly as they had made their individual contribution. I
know of only one thing that comes anywhere near this – and at that
imperfectly – and that is music. To lie in, feel, think, participate,
modify, be modified by, feel the essence of each individual, feel the
essence of the totality of the thought-feelings of the
groupof individuals, feel all of them affecting all of each other, and
having a response back that affects all of them – all happening
instantaneously û is one of the most profound sensations I have ever
experienced. It is like ‘listening to music’. And here if ‘music’ were
to be taken as a play on a range of feelings and thoughts the
‘orchestra’ there had a capacity to play those feelings and thoughts
that was well beyond anything that I would be able to bring myself to
call human. This ‘music’ (keep in your mind that I am talking about a
communication system) was not just an ‘event’ that happened isolated
from everything else but one that permeated everything.
I would like to return to the matter previously mentioned that my
sense of self was expanded to an extent that would (here) be
unbelievable. Part of that expansion of self was as I have said to do
with my sense that my ego had fallen away (or had been subsumed and
attenuated by this enlargement of sense of self) – I was aware of that
in a nascent sort of way, though I would emphasize that it was no
concern of mine at all. However part of what stood in its place was a
unity with this ‘total mind’. In effect I was part of this total
meta-mind and my sense of self expanded accordingly. I should like to
say that my sense as I write this is that in terms of there I suspect
that I was a novice in this communication system. My sense is that in
many ways I was in fact being (re-) introduced to it by these stars
(beings). It needs to be understood that I really am talking about the
mind of ‘something else’ entering one. And that includes the capacity to
teach in a very, very direct way.
I had one sense of something that I did not understand. This was
to do with the ‘far’ stars. It seemed to me initially that I could only
feel, participate, know, the communications of the near stars. It was as
if the far stars were in some way ‘blocked’ from my knowing. Or as if
there may have been some kind of barrier that prevented me from knowing
what the far stars were communicating. However, when I became aware of
this it did not interest me for long. This place has such a sense of
‘perfection in rightness’ about it that one does realize that things
have a purpose and that the way things are is right.
So, as I have said, I lay and became aware of these stars and this
universe all around me being conscious. I also became aware of the
communications of these stars. I now need to try and describe more
specifically what these stars were communicating to me.
It was in essence very simple – though as I have said the
communication system is utterly stupendous – in the ‘first part’ of
their communication they let me know that they knew me. In the ‘second
part’ of their
communicationthey let me know that they were happy to see me, again. They were so
very, very happy that I was back with them, to join them again. In the
‘third part’ of their communication they let me know that they loved me
very, very much. I need to point out here that I have written this as
first, second and third part of the communication.
This is wholly inaccurate – it is a limitation that we have in our
thinking because of our use of language. This communication was one
massive stream of ‘music’ that played in the very fabric of the space
that I was in, that moved through me, and from me and back to them. For I
myself was in such a state of joy to be with them again. (This did not
strike me as in any way peculiar or strange to me.) At the same instant
that that was happening I was also aware of the meta-mind of the
communication as a unified and completely non-conflicted whole.
It needs to be stated that the nature of the meta-mind that was
produced is something like a radio broadcast transmitter in that the
signal of such a transmitter will always be composed of energies at a
given frequency range even though the content of the messages can vary
widely. There the nature of the meta-mind that I was in, that was
communicating with me and I with it was one of love. I could not begin
to describe the sensations and ease of being that I felt to be in an
environment that was literally composed of love as its base-essence or
base-frequency.
This entire communicative ‘sequence’ was ‘started’ by one
individual star that I looked at as I became aware of where I was and
what was going on around me. I looked at this star and it ‘said’,
communicated to the others, what translated to words would be a message
similar to: “Look, here he is now. He’s back with us again. He’s here
now.” The thing was that as I looked at that ‘initiating’ individual
star I knew that all the other ‘near’ stars already knew, that I was
there, knew the message of the individual, knew their own responses,
knew my feelings as this ripple of communication of thought-feeling
spread out and around and back again. I do not know how long I lay
drifting in that area of space that I found myself in. It could have
been minutes, it could just as soon have been forever, I neither knew
nor cared. The sensations of being welcomed, of being loved, of being
back again, of being at ease, of being nurtured, of being caressed,
their acceptance of my returning of my love for them, of having them
inside me, and me inside them, of feeling their extreme
intelligenceand wisdom, of feeling the extent of their knowing of the fundamental
nature of things. I lay among these beings being welcomed and loved by
them for how long I do not know. Then I ‘heard’ a sound like a low
rumble in the distance.
I turned towards my right side, to the side that the sound seemed
to be coming from. I say that I heard this sound and did in fact do so.
The capacity of hearing there is similar to that of hearing here.
However, my hearing was not restricted to just this form as I also
‘heard the sound inside me’. That is, like there was a vibrational
analogue of a sound moving deep inside me. I looked in the direction
that I thought I could hear the sound coming from and at first could see
nothing.
The area into which I was looking was far off in the distance and
in a dark area of space with no stars in the immediate vicinity. Then I
thought that I momentarily saw a slight change at one point in that
space – as if something had appeared for a second and then disappeared
again. Like as if I had just vaguely identified one pin-point of
movement in all that far away space. Then I saw the pin-point again, for
a little longer this time, then again, and again, and again. This
appearance and disappearance had a slight shimmering quality to it. This
did not involve light as such (a pin-point of light) only recognition
that something different from the overall background of space was
present in that area. Then this thing appeared and stayed in appearance.
At that point I knew for sure that its staying in appearance was
because it was getting closer. I knew that there was something there and
it was apparently moving in my direction.
As I identified that there was something moving in the distance I
felt a silence come upon me. This had nothing to do with fear û I had in
fact no fear at all of anything here. As this silence fell upon me I
noticed that all the stars (and ‘the group’) had also fallen silent. It
was as if the whole space was made pregnant by this silence. As if, as
if one had a feeling that something profound was about to happen even
though one had no idea of what. It was as if all the stars had withdrawn
into a state of contemplation; as indeed I had myself. The object, I
could see, and hear, and feel-hear inside me was getting closer. As it
got closer all this hearing and feel-hearing got louder. This so that I
could feel my interior start to
vibrate to the sound. In tonal terms this sound was like a low bass rumble at all times.
As I looked and the object started to get nearer and nearer it got to a
point where I could see that what was moving towards me was a slowly
tumbling rock. Almost as if it was rolling in space – though its rate of
rolling was very slow and in no way a gauge of its actual rate of
travel. It was, roughly, spherical in shape. As it got nearer and nearer
I could see that its surface was quite rough, irregular (just like a
huge rock here would be). It’s path toward me I could see was occurring
as part of a huge arc.
As this rock got to about mid-way to me I found that I was aware
of some its apparent properties. These properties seemed to perplex me
in some ways. This perplexity was not in any way confusing and in fact
did not amount to any concern in me at all û it was simply present, that
is all. One of the properties that I understood of this rock was that
it was not positionally fixed in space. I seemed to be aware of this as a
distinct property of this rock that made it in some way different from
all else that was around me. I knew that this rock had a freedom of
movement that marked it out as different from everything else. I was
also aware that I was not aware of the consciousness of this rock in the
same way that I was aware of the consciousness of the stars. (Though
again I say that the stars had now fallen silent and had been silent for
some time.) I was also aware that in some way the consciousness of this
rock was not being made available to me. Though I must say that there
was no element of deception involved in this. My sense was of something
approaching that in some way was un-knowable and that ineffability had
something to do with the state it was in. I had a sense that this rock
and its movement was extremely volitional. Whatever this was it was not
an object approaching by chance because of some random path it was on.
It had volition (AngelicView: free will/purpose). I was also aware that this rock was ageless – by which I mean that in our terms it was old beyond our widest imaginings.
Now, all of this apparent non-communication, was a communication
from it to me. It was only that I did not understand the elements of the
communication that it appeared to me that there were no elements of a
communication. However, though I could not distinguish communication
elements directed by it deliberately to me it was clear to me that those
awarenesses that I did have merged to form an over-arching
communication (or meta-communication, if you like). And that
communication was that this was fate. Whatever was happening now was something that was destined in some way.
It knew why it was there, though (at that point) I did not. This
was why this object was volitional. It was, if you like, keeping an
appointment. And it knew, from what we would call the beginning of time,
that it would be here now to meet me. I did not at that point
understand that I was meant to be there to meet it, that awareness on my
part was in a nascent state. I tried, as I had done so with the stars
(though with them it was not necessary to ‘try’) to reach out to the
consciousness of this object, merge with it in the very definite way
that I have also described, but found that I could not do so. All that I
got was what I have described above.
I watched it come nearer and nearer and as it got very close
realized that there was nothing that I could do to pre-empt its
intention. It was now so close that my entire field of vision was filled
with the rough surface of this rolling rock. It was now so close that I
thought that I could reach out and
touchit if I wished. It was now so close that I could see that it was going
to roll into me. This did not concern me in any way at all. In no way at
all did I seem to be afraid of it. Just at that point I looked up and
down to see nothing but this huge rock above and below me as it rolled
right onto me.
I was lying, suspended, drifting in nothing but light. Everywhere
around me was light. There was nowhere that was not light. Light as far
as I could see. Light, I knew, further than I could see. This light was
very bright but in no way at all did it hurt my sight. This light had a
singular property that is utterly indescribable in the extent and scope
of its sheer magnitude. The singular property of this light was one of
absolute love. This love was utterly unreserved, completely unbounded,
and utterly infinite in its scope.
Within that total love there came also the knowing of the
intelligence and wisdom of this being for I was bathed and permeated by
this also. The extent of the intelligence and wisdom of this being, of
this light, was utterly indescribable other than to call it infinite.
This intelligence and wisdom was of a magnitude that knew that there was
nothing that was outside its compass, that knew there was nothing of
which it was not aware, that knew there was nothing that was outside its
scope.
As someone sitting here trying (and failing) to write about the
un-writeable I have no option but to drop the pen and say that in the
extent of its power and its magnitude without limit this being was
awesome in its beauty. There are no words that can describe this being
and its sheer magnificence in its magnitude. However, it has to be said,
that all of this, all that it was capable of, all that it did, all that
it gave, could be reduced to its essential quality, all of it was
poured into this one quality without reservation: it was sheer unalloyed
love absolute. And this indescribable beauty of it moved through every
part of me as if I were being permeated by the very shining itself.
I have written what I have written immediately above so that what I
write now can be understood (to some extent) û I need to prepare the
reader for the sensations that came upon me immediately I entered this
light. So what follows now is, initially, a backtracking to the point
where I found myself in the light.
I was lying, suspended, drifting in nothing but light. I could see
that my bodily position was one of lying as if at an angle of around
thirty-degrees with my arms, like my legs, lying outspread from my body.
I was, if you like, lying in a ‘prone’ position. Seeing myself this way
lying in that light lasted only what could have been a fraction of a
second. Suddenly, almost instantaneously, on this light exploding,
coming into being around me, my sense of expansion of self rocketed to
unbelievable proportions, it was as if I had just suddenly exploded
outwards in all directions; I could not
identifywhere my ‘self’ was. (This happened very, very quickly on this light
coming into being.) It was in this state that I first became aware of
wave upon wave upon wave of love moving into and through me from every
spatial direction imaginable. I became aware of love coming into being
inside me and radiating from me in wave upon wave upon wave without
remission, and directed at, I knew not what. Then I became aware of the
presence of a being of a power, magnitude and intelligence that was
utterly indescribable and that was this light that I now knew to be
here. (What I am trying to indicate here is that on first finding myself
‘inside the light’ is that I ‘exploded’ in size to unbelievable
magnitude and that, in terms of having an identifiable ‘form’ I just
completely disappeared. Literally, I became one with what that light
was, strange though it may sound it was as if I in some way became the
light, I was completely merged with it. That lasted I do not how long,
it could have been twenty seconds, it just as easily have been for
eternity. Once that ‘having no form of my own’ ended it was like I
re-formed into an identifiable form ‘out of the light’, as though I was
extruded from it, though I was still in the light and still experienced
my self to be, psychologically, massive in size, but I had ‘regained’ an
identifiable form. (Sorry, I’m finding this extremely difficult to put
in words. It was like, briefly, becoming the light itself, and losing
form because of that, then, once that part was over, reforming again but
still being left in the light.)
Then it came upon me that I knew I was inside this being and it
inside me. We were merged so that there was no separation – and yet I
also knew that I existed, as did it, as a discrete entity. (This I know
sounds like an impossible paradox to us here. But there, this is easy.
There this is perfectly natural. I had, after all, already experienced
this to some extent with ‘the stars’.) As I became aware of this being
that was moving in me and around me and I in it; as I became aware of
its properties and of its indescribable magnitude I felt arise in me a
sense of reverential awe. I also felt rise in me a sense of my own
indescribable thankfulness to be united with it again. I have to say
that this was a strong sensation in this experience – it really was as
if some part of me knew about this place already. As if some part of me
did have a sensation of knowing of these things and beings from before.
(Though I did not know how I could be coming to think-feel these things,
nor did I question this in any way û that was a matter of no interest
to me at all.)
I transmitted (communicated) my thought-feeling sense of reverence
and thankfulness to this being. It was not necessary for me to do this
as it already knew. It did however thank me for this with more love,
which I knew it would not have withheld anyway. I surrendered myself to
this being, I wanted to be open to this being, I wanted to be so close
to this being forever. We united in mutual love. I could not begin to
describe the comprehensiveness of this union. There is no union like
this in ordinary existence between people on Earth. This is love
expressed with no barrier of any form between the direct experience of
the love of the other which is
nownot other. The sensations generated by union in this condition are
beyond belief in their scope and in their subtlety. Again it is only
able to point at by metaphor. I remind the reader of the ‘one, two or
three instruments’ analogy. Here was an entire philharmonic orchestra
composed of millions upon millions upon millions of instruments.
I have mentioned before that communication here is by direct
transference of thought-feeling to the extent that thought and feeling
are not separate facets of a communication. I have also mentioned that
this is an incredibly subtle form of communication system. Likewise I
have mentioned that the whole is conducted in a fashion which can (with
the limited means available to me for description) be compared to the
unfolding of a musical score which is literally being played as it is
constructed and that there is never a mis-note or dis-chord played as it
is constructed. I have also said that (to use the musical analogy) the
range of ‘instruments’ available and the tonal affects possible because
of that are beyond comparison with anything known to us here. I have
also said that out of the communications of individuals a single
meta-communication arises out of the multiplicity of the individual
communications and all are placed in a situation of communicating with
the meta-communication too. It should be borne in mind that all of this
happens as a synchronicity. This is not of the nature of a (wordy)
linear discourse as we know it. That meta-communication seemed always to
be played out (or land at, if you like) a single unifying theme; that
unifying theme was always love. This was not a dominating constraint –
to all it was always most welcome, most held in high regard – this is,
if you like, the culminating point of all communication in this place –
love. This, if you like, is the living essence of the harmony among the
‘stars’ (those beings, lights, whatever they were): this communication
system that always culminates (though it is an ongoing process and hence
does not end) in never-ending love.
It is impossible to describe the subtlety of this type of
communication system. However, for what I am trying to describe here it
is very important to realize that this system is so dynamic and so
subtle that a single communication for a single individual can contain
thousands of strands all playing on each other instantaneously and
always culminating in love. Thus it should be realized that from a
single communication many things can be transmitted within (if one
likes) that unifying theme.
AsI first became aware of myself within this being of light (after I had
‘re-formed’) and its communication to me of absolute love (and of all
that I have written of above) it was made clear to me as part of that
‘initiating’ communication to me that ‘we’ were now to take part in a
‘judgment’. This was made completely clear to me. This did not worry me
in any way whatsoever. (When I say ‘judgment’ I would very much
underline that there was no prospect of any kind of condemnation
involved in this.) I felt so at ease, so nurtured, so wrapped and rapt
in the care and concern of this being for me that I knew it would never
ever do anything to harm me. I knew that this being was not human. This
being I knew was so unspeakably far above the human that it is
impossible to qualify or quantify it in human terms. I knew this being
to be utterly powerful yet that I was to be ‘judged’ in no way concerned
me at all. In fact, I welcomed it. I welcomed this because I knew that
this being was total love. This being despite its magnitude and its
power I knew without question was completely benign. There was nothing
that this being would ever do to me to harm me – ever. This being was in
fact – of its own essence born of the extent of its intelligence and of
the sheer depth of its wisdom – incapable of condemnation. To be
‘judged’ by this being is to be exposed to its total love for you.
As this being, this light, conjoined me in and with its love, and I
returned mine to it, so that both merged together so that neither
existed except the two in the one I knew (it did let me know) that it
was ‘looking’ for something. It was feeling its way through and around
me (though I stress it was also it in me, or me in it) searching for
that upon which ‘judgment’ could be made. This needs some
qualification.
It has to be realized that this ‘judgment’ is not a matter of the
sole-discretion of this being. This ‘judgment’ is still conducted within
the parameters that I have attempted to describe above of the
communication system there. This ‘judgment’ is one in which that
individual who is being ‘judged’ is utterly and intimately involved in
their own ‘judgment’.
I have since having had this experience read of some other
accounts of this part of the death process and have read that some
people actually see images or aspects of their lives played out for
them, as if a ‘review’ was being made. This did not happen to me. Yet I
did know that I was being
‘judged’,or rather that I was participating in a ‘judgment’. I knew that this
light, this beautiful Being was ‘sifting through me’. Looking for
something, gauging something, vibrations, frequencies, taking them into
its love, knowing the whole. This did not feel intrusive, I was happy
for this being to ‘look at me’ in this way, I welcomed it, and loved it
for this thing. And I knew that it was on this thing that ‘judgment’ was
based. This is ‘judgment’ based on the essence of you within an
intimacy that would simply be impossible on any understanding we have in
ordinary life. This ‘judgment’ has as its basis the answer to a single
question which would translate to something quite precise – What is,
was, the essence of your love? If you like, in a summative sense of the
whole, what vibration, or frequency, did your love resonate at?
Wave after wave after wave of love washed through me from this being –
and I returned this to it. Then there was what I can only describe as
something like a pause, it was clear that the ‘judgment’ was over.
I knew that I was still in the being, and it in me. I knew that I
was still bathed in the light. But now everything had gone silent. I was
no longer subject to wave upon wave upon wave of love flowing all
around and through me. Everything had gone silent. I lay in the light in
a state of absolute peace and calm. In a silence of feeling the like of
which I have never known before or since and which could only be
described as pure peace in rest and acceptance. And then
I was looking upward at a dark sky – at the dome of the heavens.
As I became aware that this was what I was doing I became aware that my
head was turning to look to my left. As it did so I became aware of a
sphere of rock immediately to my left side, no more than an arm’s-length
away. The rock was in the process of moving away from me, slowly
tumbling away into space. I started to watch it go.
It was still in communication with me, though the form or
intensity of the communication was much attenuated – in some ways its
communicative state (or my own depending on your point of view) was
similar to that of its approach. In any case, the communication system
was starting to break-up.
As it gained some fair distance from me it made a communication
which in words would translate to something like: “I will see you (or
meet you) again later.” Again I need to state that this attempt to
verbal translation is a failing one. The communication contained many
strands, some that dealt with love, some that dealt with an indicated
time frame (as a setting of context of the communication). It was clear
to me that it was leaving
me,going off on a volitional path that would take it over what we would
call immense distances. It was made clear within the communication that
this ‘later’ that it referred to was (in our terms) an immense distance
of time away. We as human beings simply do not think in terms of these
types of time frame at all. We just do not do it. It was ‘speaking’ of a
vast distance of time away. And, I knew, that this ‘time’ that it was
using as reference meant absolutely nothing to it. Not a thing. So much
of nothing that it was meaningless. ‘Meaningless’ in the sense that it
(time) is a frame of reference that has no real meaning to, or for, it.
It meant nothing to it at all.
As I realized this I saw its arc start to take it towards the side
of a small planet that was in its now immediate vicinity. I thought
that this was curious as I had not previously noticed this planet there
at all. Yet I knew that I had looked in that direction when I had first
arrived here. I did not trouble myself to puzzle over the (now) presence
of this planet. I watched the rock arc its way behind the planet and
realized that it was now gone from me so I turned my sight away.
I looked upward a bit and turned my head in an arc looking at all
of the dome of the dark sky above me. I realized that all the ‘near’
stars had somehow, now, disappeared. I also realized that the space I
was now in was not permeated with consciousness – as it was when I first
arrived here – everything was silent. All that I could see were ‘far’
stars away off in the great distance. I could thought-feel no
communication from them. I was turning my head and as I did so I was
aware that I was trying to make a decision on where I would go now. I
stopped turning my head at a point in the heavens that was a little to
my right and above me. There I could see some far stars. I could see an
area of darkness between these far stars and seemed to think that I
would head off in that direction. It did not seem to me that I had made a
firm decision on going to any particular place – only that I felt that
to go to that region would be the next thing that I would do (here). I
raised my left arm as if in a movement to fly off into that region. Even
thought in our terms this would have involved covering an immense
distance I had no kind of a notion that this travelling to there would
take any kind of significant time at all. I felt myself start to move in
the direction in which I intended to fly and-
I was aware of a female voice calling my name. I seemed to think
this was my grandmother (with whom I use to stay at that time) calling
me. I seemed to think that I was being called to get up and go to work
in the morning. I remember mumbling something like (though I do not know
if I was heard), “I’m not going to work this morning. I don’t feel too
good.” As I said this I opened my eyes and at first was dazed as to
where I was. Then it dawned on me that I was inside an ambulance. Then
suddenly my pain, though now fairly reduced, flooded back to me and I
started to become re-aware that I had been in an accident.
AngelicView: His final statement: ”Please, please, please keep getting the word out about NDE’s.”
Thank you Peter.
Thanks to: http://angelicview.wordpress.com
