To William...

Thank You PurpleSkyz for this and for all the good work you do here.
Peace.

Yes, very sorry for your loss, you seemed like a great guy and I'm sure Susana felt your love, as we have here.
Blessings

My condolences William. I know the loss is tramatic, but the void that is left in loosing someone close is just as much if not more so difficult to deal with. My father passed away just a few weeks ago, though he was 97, and we knew it was comming as he had been in a Hospice for 3 months. The void of him actually being gone has been more tramatic...   I know you have an amazing group of family here, willing to suport you however we may, but I prey you also have others close that can help you deal with the void. Continueing on is difficult but necessary and we will.
Many Blessings and Peace.

Oh Marty... I am also sorry to hear that your Dad passed. My love to your and yours. xox

Thank you everyone. This is a beautiful community. Marty I am very sorry for your loss.
Several years back I took a course to become a Hospice volunteer. This past week I think I got my PhD in Hospice volunteer work. After I get through the grieving process I will start this work, 
Marty, I only wish I could have volunteered to work with you dad.
Peace.

Thank you Purps and William, after having lost my sister, my mother, and now my dad I can tell you that you never really get through the greiving process. That's why it's called a process and it's different for everyone because it happens at different stages of our lives and it will effect you differently each time we are subjected to it. If we were heartless creatures without compassion and love, there would be no greiving. I try to find the positive side of things and I know the cycle of life has a purpose but I've yet to see much of anything in this process I consider positive, regardless of being necessary.
  Greif is no stranger to me as I lost my first wife and son many years ago. I thought my life was over, but the process is that we go on. We suffer, we greive, our heart breaks with the pain but we go on and find a special place in our hearts for the love and memories in order to cope and function. We revisit those memories from time to time and greive some more, but I don't believe we ever get over or past the greif. To do so I think would be to loose that love that was and is so important to us.
  May your journey be in peace.

Marty I am sincerely sorry for your multiple losses. You must be a  very strong person to endure that.
It hasn't really hit me yet. I went back to work today and for me work helps. My boss and co-workers have been very supportive.
Here is what I doing now to pay it forward: Normally many of us go through life unconsciously. "How you doin'?" we often say not really expecting an answer. Lately I've been saying "not good" and it seems to snap the other person into reality. I tell them my situation, not for pity but to wake them up. Than I tell them to cherish everyone in their lives. Wow! So many people these last weeks have opened up and told me stories after that exchange. It seems to bring out the humanity in people.
Marty, you must have incredible things to share based upon your experiences.

Well obviously after 69 years of history there would be much to share. I'm usually rather guarded about what I share or with whom as some only wish to hear what you say in order to knock you down and build themselves up, which only stems from their own insecurity. I've learned so much more by just listening. Besides since my journey of awakening began, which has certainly enhanced my experience and reshaped my outlook of things, there are those who would now consider my years of wisdom as being over the edge of sanity... perhaps why I have fit in with Purps, Nann, Top and many others here... Oooops did I say that? lol  Anyway I understand your returning to work, it helps to fill the void and I'm glad your connecting and getting real responses from folks instead of the usual politically correct garbage. We do get through these times not allways easily, but for me I've found that once you stop trying to figure out how to get past the greiving and focus on how your going to carry it with you in a private place in your heart, to remember or share as the occassion requires, there is at least peace. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it makes it so you can be at peace and it does make you stronger.

Wow! Marty your last paragraph blew me away. All of what you said I take to heart and thank you for. It hasn't totally hit me yet, They told me Her precious body is in a refrigerator right now and it broke my heart. I was ready to run home get blankets and kick in the fucking refrigerator door than I realized Sh is no longer suffering.
The real grieving (I think) hasn't started yet and I fear that like nothing else in life.
Thanks Purps. This is a beautiful site. I am thankful for this site.
Marty, have you ever considered Hospice work? I HOPE OTHERS HERE CHECK THIS OUT, I'M THE POSTER BOY FOR HOSPICE VOLUNTEERS! You can do what's comfortable for you. A lot is going to sit with a  person for 1 hour while the caregiver goes food shopping. But (haven't done it yet, just personally with Susana) your experience without saying anything could IMO impact people in crisis big time. Even just to speak to volunteers with what you've experienced and the soul you show in your writings here. Just sayin'

I'm so happy to hear that I may have helped in some small way. Everybody's process is different and I know very well what you refer to in waiting for reality to slam you. After visiting dad in the Hospice for 3 months, even though you know it's coming (though at times I really wondered) when he finally passed, it was surreal... I knew what I needed to do and was going through the motions. I wasn't there when he passed, and though I have had pangs of guilt over that, I'm truely glad I wasn't, even though I know he went peacefully in his sleep. I knew he was gone which of course both saddened and relieved me. But then what hit me was that " I cant go see dad today", WTF am I gonna do now? That was the beginning of reality of the Void, which I feel is harder than the initial loss 'cause it doesn't go away.
   Though I understand the statement very well, please try not to fear the greif, embrace it and release what you can. My heart aches so that I wish I could bawl my eyes out and yet I can't for some reason. I get that lump in my throat and get tears in my eyes but that's it... it sucks. But then I get teary eyed watching tv when I see some poor animal being abused... go figure.  Release as much as you can, the guilt, the second guessing, the what ifs... pick the special times (good and the not so good) to carry with you, the memories that will help you grow. We each have a purpose for being here and everyone we come in contact with (even incidently) we impact in some way. Unfortunately we have little to say about how long we get to share a part of our lives with others, so cherish the time you had. Gratitude feels so much better than the greif of loss.
   As for me working in a Hospice, My initial reaction is to be quite hesitant. My wife was a geriatric nurse for allmost 20 years. I know the toll that takes on a person and I'm not sure I have that in me to give, but I'm certainly greatfull for those who can. They indeed are very special people. Hang in there my friend, life does go on whether we like it or not and better times are ahead.

Thanks Marty. You have helped me and I'm sure others who read your posts. You have a lot of wisdom. Hospice is not for everyone, I am drawn to it now because I feel that I can do it, but I totally understand the toll it could take.
Peace.

Thank You everyone for your beautiful thoughts, stories and prayers.
Susie has become a guide for me. Our relationship did a 180. I cared for Her until She drew Her last sweet beautiful breath. She actually went 9 days without food or water because She could no longer swallow. Her strength and love are incredible! She has lovingly guided me since her transition and is now taking care of me.
She wanted me to sell the condo. The night She passed the realtor showed up unannounced. She knew Susie was suffering and She just brought  a card that said I can call her for anything in this difficult time. She did not know Susie passed. The next day I butt dialed Rosa, the realtor, but it made no sense because i very seldom call her and she is not in my contact list. The next day I called one of Susie's few living friends and dialed Rosa by mistake.
The condo has been on the market since Friday, one month after Susie's transition. Today, 5 days later, Rosa sold it at full price. 
I am beginning to have  a better understanding of the beautiful, sweet, loving power and capabilities of the loved ones who have transitioned. Thank you again.
I now live what remains of my time here leading a more spiritual life in respect and love to Susie. So many synchronicities! Today I saw a woman in front of an animal hospital protesting. I felt the need to stop. Turns out her dog died there because of the wrong med's and her father had just passed recently. Her dog was her only companion. I am getting her information bereavement counseling, etc. 
We all have a beautiful story to tell and if we reach out to others we help them and hey in turn help others. We are all one!
Thanks again.
Peace!

Thanks everyone!
I just wanted to update this. Monday will be 2 months that Susie died but She's still hanging around to help me. Monday night I was thinking about when we first met and Susie read my tarot cards. Long story short: She said justice was very important to me. I never thought about it but She was right on the money and She hardly knew me. The next morning I get up, mornings are rough without Her physical body here so I'm pretty depressed in the morning. There was some kind of paper or card in my laundry basket. It was a tarot card: JUSTICE. 
Today I was leaving a customer's place and feeling bad. I asked Her again to show me that She was still around. There was a beautiful white feather in front of me a minute later. Feathers and birds mean a lot to me on the spiritual level.
There is no death only transition. I'm learning to love a person on a purely spiritual level. 
Peace.

awww that is so cool Bill
I just read an article yesterday that when you see a feather it is the spirit of a loved one letting you know that they are there. How synchronistic!

Thank you everyone.
I'm trying to do a new post but can't figure it out so I'll post it here.
ALC (AFTER LIEF COMMUNICATION)
Just before Susie's body died there were electrical disturbances. Lights flickering, radio turning on, clock changing. After She transitioned I started seeing white feathers whenever I felt really bad. I went to a psychic and she made connection with Susie and said many things that only Susie and I knew.
THIS IS A  JOURNEY OF LOVE!
Every morning I tell Susie "Te amo mi amor". The psychic hooks up with Susie and say's She has a message "Te amo mi amor". The psychic had no idea of this. I will post her contact info if it's allowed on this site, but she is incredible. The psychic told me many other things that Susie wants me to know.
Susie and I are in contact every day. My heart is crushed and I weep every day but She is here in spirit form.
I have learned a great deal about the other side from Susie. Does this resonate with anyone?
There are tremendous resources for ADC information:
Sweenborg you tube vid's
http://afterlifeforums.com
http://nderf.me/

It is suggested that 20% of humans get afterlife communication. 
Peace and thanks again.

Thanks for sharing William.  : thumbs up:

That is wonderful William!
If you ever want to post something and need direction call me. :)
Very cool that your seer was able to connect to Susie.

Thank you everyone.
Wow, 
Susie is working hard I think. She is not just sending me signs that She is here but yesterday and last night She communicated to me. She manipulated a white feather, didn't just drop it in my path. A pristine white feather hit the hood of my car rolled to Her side of the windshield and gently rolled to my side of the windshield as if to say "from me to you".
My cell phone clock has been changing time several times lately or locking up. We know this is something very common as a form of communication from the other side. I dreamt I was on a  sale trip with 2 beautiful woman. My cell phone fell apart and I couldn't put it back together. I went for a long walk with Alison (Susie) one of the woman. It was so peaceful like the walks Susie and I used to take. I asked Alison to contact (key word CONTACT) AT&T so that I could communicate again. She said She would help me.
The dream was incredibly vivid and very long.
Peace.

After my 2 youngest kids dad passed  in 2010 my home became a place of intense poltergeist activity which I knew was from him. It got pretty crazy so I had one of my dear friends, who is also a professional psychic, come over to help me assess how to go forward in dealing with this. 
She had an app on her phone that she sometimes used for communication. Your post above brought that to my mind... so here are a few links for those apps should you want to upload to your phone William :)

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2013/08/07/couple-says-app-lets-iphone-communicate-with-ghosts/2626795/

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.meenakshi.ghost&hl=en

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.royaltyfreestockvideofootage.com.apps.stgc2&hl=en

Thank you Purpz.

I met with my grievance counselor for the last time today. It's a 6 session/12 week thing. I can't stress the importance of grief/bereavement counseling if that works for others experiencing this. I was very helpful. Susie is closer than ever. A lot of very powerful experiences this week. She is beginning to communicate thoughts to me, not just reaching out with white feathers to show me She is here but the beginnings of actual communications.
I will start hospice work in the near future. Nothing heavy just sitting with a few people to keep them company in a  nursing home. Logistically it is working out perfectly.
Thank you everyone here.

Best wishes William...  

I went back to the Spiritualist church again today and there was a British medium there. He pointed to me and said Joe was there. Joey, my brother, transitioned about 11 years ago. usie was with me when we got the call and She really helped me through that difficult time. In turn Joe was there to greet Susie when She transitioned. They both came to visit today. She said it was important that She made Her presence known today as I have been still getting white feathers but feeling very lonely.

With all of the signs and communications I'm getting from the love of my life I still grieve the loss of Her physical body. As I went to sleep last night I asked Her to contact me and help me with my grief. She came to me in a dream. Not the Spirit of my love but the wasting dying physical body to remind me that I am grieving the loss of a  very sick body, holding on to those last physical memories, rather than emotionally accepting and knowing that She is now healthy, free of suffering and more powerful than ever. She working hard to comfort me in my grief and I just need to accept this beautiful message.

Amen William, I don't believe we 'get over' our grief. We carry the love and memories in a special place in our hearts. What we have to get over, is the void that is left and the only way I can see doing that is by filling the void with something meaningful that will allow us to continue to grow. I don't think of this as a right or wrong as it's different for each of us. We just have to be open to going on and I believe your doing just fine. Not saying it's easy or fun, just continue listening to your inner guides.  : thumbs up:

Thank you everyone. 
I feel it's important to update this because I need to help others because of the hell I am experiencing through Her loss.
Susie sent me a  very vivid dream this morning after I asked Her to come to me. I also started working with a pendulum again and it seems to be successful.
In the dream she was in a psychiatric hospital and escaped. It was very long and very vivid. I looked all over the hospital and surrounding area and was crushed to realize I lost Her. I went back to the hospital totally depressed and destroyed. others who knew Her were they and almost joyous which made no sense to me, I immediately work up to the thought that I am trying to hold on to a dying person when in fact She is healthy and still here and I'm just hung up on Her physical dying form.

I also started this self guided connection (http://selfguided.spiritualunderstanding.org/) and met with Her on one of the meditations. It reiterated the dream. We were back in our condo that I had to sell because of the horrible memories. But I was there with the old Susie, the healthy happy, sexy love of my life. She looked at me and said "We are equals again".
Peace.




http://selfguided.spiritualunderstanding.org/

I am thankful to Purps for this site and the good work she does here.
I think it is important to get my (and Susie's) message out to others here. Susie transitioned in June and we have been in touch and I think it is important to get this across for those mourning which I still do and will continue to do until I transition but also as a message of hope that I'm comprehending but still struggling with in my human existence.

We have been in contact and it has been a journey. She is honing Her sending skills and I am honing my receiving skills. From day one She was here and heard me. I was and continue to be the weak link as I continue to learn how to receive messages from the love of my life.

A word about love. Many acquaintances, friends and family told me to abandon the love of my life as She deteriorated. We never got around to getting married. They said I should walk away. There was no "legal" bond as if "legality" means anything. Many and most of these acquaintances, friends and family are no longer in my life. 

There argument was irrelevant. Our sacred bond was between us, eternal and had nothing to do with church or state. 

This is all about the power of Love. Love transcends all dimensions and as I cry at night or during the day for the loss of my Love's physicality She comes to me. 

I am like an infant newly born. As a child is nourished in the womb and than the connection is broken during birth I am in the same state. The physicality of our love, nourishment and connection has been broken with Her physical passing. She is still here, the infinite and eternal Love is still here just that I am now an infant in learning this new form of love and connection. I hope this makes sense.

The people I mentioned above who suggested I walk out I need to state that I still love and I have no animosity toward them but just can not relate to them at this time.

My dowsing skills are becoming a way for two way communication with Susie. she cleared up a  few things for me last night and this morning through the pendulum. I should also that that some of these tools can create problems depending on our mind set and spiritual situation. I seen and experienced soe very dark things when coming form fear and anger rather than Love.